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Most Horrifying of Children

I did well at the annual Shepard Center Used Book Sale this year, although a little disappointed that they raised the prices. It was nice to buy $1 paperbacks and if you got ten the price would drop to 50 cents per book. Buy five of their 50 cent books and that price would drop to 25 cents per book. Nice deal. However this year the lowest price paperbacks were $1, and if you got 25 books the price dropped to $20. No surprise that I prefer the old pricing, especially in these economic times.
     I did find some unique old hardcover books which I might write about later, and a few lower price books to throw in the Xmas gift grab bag which my wife's side of the family do every year. Below is one of these books, picked because of the creepy cover.

Seriously, look at 'em. They're the creepiest freakin' things I've ever seen.

Rosy cheeked and plenty creepy
   And there's two of them.
    And these guys are higher than Children Of The Damned level of eerie. Even the dog looks worried. And what are they doing to the poor canine? The girl has it by the paw while the boy pinches its neck. Who holds a dog like that? Look at Rover's face, that is a 'get me outta here' pleading look if I've ever saw one, and I've seen one.
     But let's get back to the twins with their towering foreheads and adult proportioned facial structure. Even the most heavily mood medicated of children do not possess such sprightly smiles. If it were not for their abnormal heads these kids would be the poster children for Hitler's Lebensborn program.
     Creepy, creepy, creepy.
     The book detailing the Hell Twins adventure in an airplane was published in 1933. Back then I believe airplanes were powered by coal. A list of other Bobbsey Twin adventures is included before the title page. Looking at these books in the context of modern times puts a different spin on what the story might be like. Let your warped imagination work its wonders;


In the Land of Cotton ( the children bring their 1930s understanding of the world to 2012 Alabama )
In Mexico ( they meet a drug cartel lord and learn how heroin is made, the adventure concludes with the twins being smuggled across the border )
In Rainbow Valley ( the children attend their first Gayfest )
In Tulip Land ( Don't have a comment for this one, just thought it weird )
In Eskimo Land ( or in our PC times; Inuit–Yupik Land  )

     Judging from the other titles ( . . . At Cedar Campy, . . . At Whitesail Harbor, . . . At Lighthouse Point, etc ) the twins traveled extensively, quite a lot considering they were in the middle of the Great Depression. Don't have a comment about that, just wonder where they got the money.
     This is a children's book and it has only one picture!
    If you want to take it a step too far, one could also comment that it is strange to poop in the air. That's what you're doing in the plane lavatory, pooping while a thousand feet above people's heads. I like how the adventure prone kids are placed right behind the pilot. He probably got covered in bread crusts. Ah, to be back in the days when you could take a picnic basket aboard an airplane.

     Maybe the mystery of the B-Twins altered anatomy will never be answered, since their adventures took place in the 30s I'm pretty sure they're dead now.

anyone remember This Island Earth?


what hell
Eldon Litchfield

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