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Sympathy for the Ymir

     You may have seen the Ymir.  In the movie 20 Million Miles To Earth, he came to this planet still in the egg...sac...glob...whatever and once born only knew pain and fear.  Just out of the egg and the scientist that bought him off of the annoying Pepe sticks the critter in a cage; no water or food, just locks him up.  Then the good scientist just goes to bed. Sheesh.
Mr. Ymir

     The Ymir doesn't eat meat (eats yummy sulfur), doesn't attack anyone (well, unless you attack it first, which everyone seems to want to do), and wanders around probably wondering why none of the other two legged creatures have tails.  The creature grows rapidly in Earth's oxygen rich environment (movie logic), which causes problems.  Guns are useless against the Ymir as it has no internal organs to injure. Its physiology is akin to Senator Ted Stevens idea of the Internet; a series of tubes.
     The Ymir meets a tragic end. Blasted by bazookas before being crushed under massive stones, it dies on the streets of Rome. It only epitat comes from a scientist that says, "Why is it always, always so costly for man to move from the present to the future?"

     You know who the real monster of that movie is?


     Pepe is a vile opportunist who enthusiastically extorts money from anyone. His motto; Money first, the goods later. Kid needs to be locked in a box. I bet he grew up to become the village mooch. All his earnings goes toward his demented hat fetish. He even bilks 1/2 million Lira from the US government.* 

     Rest In Peace, Mr. Ymir.

*Actually, the US government didn't suffer much for that exchange. Euros didn't exist back then so the denomination of Sicily was the Lira. A US general offers the award of 1/2 million Lira for anyone finding the metal canister containing the Ymir egg. Of course, Pepe was the one who sneaked off with it in the first place.  Pepe gets his Lira, which by my calculations (exchange rates in the late 50s) would have been under $800.

@&$% on that, Pepe.


what hell
Eldon Litchfield

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