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Why? Oh, Why?

I present to you a poem . . .







The Inkslinger

A poem by
D. H. Lewis



As nature doth call, I enter the lavatory.
The expressed mission, myself to relieve.

As Janus opens the Uretic-ian Gates,
to turn loose its Ogygian flood.
I, readied for pressured delivery.
Then, there he is, watching,
looking at me.
Watching, glaring, staring,
while I pee.

Why, oh why,
do you, Stephen King,
stand there and watch me?
Why, oh why, oh noted author,
do you watch me pee?

The doors flung open, due to your entry,
your eyes wide, pondering your discovery.
What did you expect, when you barged in,
I make no apologies, what I do 'tis not a sin.

Why, oh why,
do you, Stephen King,
stand there and watch me?
Why, oh why, oh noted author,
do you watch me pee?

I wish you’d stop, purely wish you’d quit,
yet you just stand there while staring at it.
Are you awaiting your turn, shocked or a tad angry?
Impressed, underwhelmed, or pulled in by curiosity?

Yet there you stand,
whenever I go,
eyes always locked
on the free show.

There is no more,
the task is done.
Wash my hands,
then I'm gone.

But I know,
that you, Stephen King,
again will be there with me.
That you, yes you, oh noted author,
will again watch me pee.


     Okay, so what was all that about, you may ask. In the bathroom of my house, the hardback edition of Cell, by King of course, sits on the back of the toilet. For many weeks, it has occupied that space face down. On the back of the dust jacket is this picture of the author. ( or ink slinger, a colloquial word for a writer, used by cavemen. King wrote The Gunslinger. Get it?  )


What?!



     The picture, which I guess was taken at some mist-shrouded sinister diner, makes King look like he is saying "What are you doing?" or "Would you please hurry up."
     The book no longer sits there and has been replaced by From The Twilight Zone by Rod Sterling (Hardcover, 1962). Now, there is Rod Sterling sitting there. Watching. Waiting.


...intheTwilightZone

Judging.

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Eldon Litchfield

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